Warning: seeing this many Santas in one place has induced uncomfortable side effects in the average bystander. If you or anyone in your family has suffered from merriment migraines or jolly aches, be sure to stay indoors this Saturday because Santa Rampage 2010 is a global event. Santas in over 25 cities around the world are banding together, and nothing can restrain the sheer jolly and intoxication that will result. This is the SANTOCALYPSE. Forget democracy, Santarchy will reign absolute as we celebrate the spirit of the season—and there’ll be exactly two weeks to recover before your famous ride. It will be madness, and you’re invited.
Every year during the month of December, Santarchy tribes around the world band together to paint their respective towns red (get it?). Typically a downtown bar-hopping affair, Santarchy is founded on merriment, creative Santa costumes, Klaus comradery and mass intoxication. December 11th, the 17-year old tradition is resurrected yet again, and Nashville is going to bring the Santa harder than ever.
In the past, Nashville’s Santas formed an amorphous red glob in lower Broadway, but this year an extra dose of anarchy is getting pumped into the Santarchy. So come out solo, or get together with all your weird Santa friends and paint joy all over the spots of your choosing. Of course, expect lots of Santas at all the hot spots: the Gulch, 5 Points, the Village, Second Avenue or Elliston Place. Seriously, your odds of running into other Santa groups anywhere are pretty darn good.
You can find the “official” Santarchy event on Facebook, and there’s an hysterical list of rules you’ll need to follow. Like:
- address every Santa as Santa, in the first, second, and third person, singular and plural.
- DO be ready for new adventure at a moment’s notice. Santa is like a shark, and must keep moving in order to thrive.
Alpha Santa, on twitter @troh23, has updates for the Advance Santarchy Santapocalypse, which is an intense, all-day event. Catch them at the Gold Rush on Elliston Place for brunch at Noon, there may be “roller skating, bowling, mall crashing, Misfits caroling and more! as much as we can possibly do…”
For the less ambitious Santas out there, get your Billy Bob Thornton on this Saturday, December 11th all around Nashville (or all around the world, for that matter). In this country, assembly is free (whadup first amendment), but Santa costumes and alcohol are not. So please, buy your neighborhood Santa a drink sometime.
Ho ho ho!